Your Inner Voice, Chatter
Have you ever heard of “chatter”? It’s the inner voice that we all have, the one that talks to us and has a constant dialogue with us. While this can be a good thing, it’s not always helpful. I realized this during my university days when I found that my inner dialogue was making my problems worse. I would have conversations with my so-called “dark side,” even going so far as to consider self-harm. It wasn’t until I had a realization — “I should stop this” — that I began to change my thinking.
One day, I looked in the mirror and my inner voice scolded and blamed me, telling me that I had nothing to rely on, not even myself. It was then that I realized that the only thing I had was myself (my self-self, that are currently in control, besides my inner voice), and I needed to love myself. Who else would?
There has been a lot of research recently on the negative effects of inner voices and self-talk. Often, our inner dialogue is more critical than helpful, providing more problems than solutions. This is something that is addressed in the book “Chatter: The Voice in Your Head, and Why it Matters” by Ethan Kross.
So, what can we do about our inner voice? Personally, I like to write my thoughts and inner dialogue in a journal. Writing things down helps me feel better and allows me to see my thoughts from a different perspective — on paper, I could become more objective in dealing with my inner voice. It’s also possible to seek support from trusted friends or a therapist and to engage in activities that promote self-compassion, such as self-care and gratitude practices.
Besides that, practicing mindfulness, being present in the moment, and paying attention to our thoughts and feelings without judgment can also help us gain awareness of the patterns in our inner dialogue and how they affect us. When we notice negative or unhelpful thoughts, we can try to reframe them in a more positive or realistic way. For example, instead of thinking “I’m a failure,” we could try thinking “I made a mistake, but that doesn’t define my worth as a person.”
I do believe it’s important to be kind to ourselves and cultivate a more compassionate inner dialogue. It may take time and effort, but I believe it will be worth it for our well-being. Let’s take control of our inner voice!
